No Hopes, No regrets
by Hiiro-no-Ryuu
Summary: Oneshot. Yaoi gay warning. Dreams always have a way of finding there way in, but will love be soon to follow, or is it too late?


Disclaimer: I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean.

_000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000_

_Dreams and hopes are all some have._

_Diary entries of wishes and wonders _

_And fairytales of love and adventure_

_Could be's, and would have's _

_Soul mates found but not claimed_

_Wishing there were more to life than these things. _

_00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000_

Dear Diary,

No one ever understood him, no one that is except me. I guess that is why he got away with so much. He made up some complex explanation for an amazingly simple situation. I always laughed at how dumb he sounded, when in reality, he was simply a genius whose values seemed a little astray, or were they? That was the phenomena of Jack Sparrow.

Jack's mind was the place in which I ravished. I extravagated all of my pirate booty from this one mind. I did not find so much value in gold, or silver, but in this man's mind.

My mind dwells in the thoughts of how to return to such a mind. And yet, every time I see its vast landscape, it's never the same. Always changing, always rearranging, like the sand dunes of the desert. You recognize it, but it is not the same. Each time is a new journey, a new place to explore.

I think I have fallen in love with the complex simplicity of it, of the way it ticks, and the way it moves. It mesmerizes me, captures my own mind. I am addicted to it. Being away form it to long would kill me.

And the man that holds it, he is beautiful. His personality a mirror to the shape of his mind. His features, a picture of the beauty of his landscapes rising sun.

No matter what I do, he remains in my mind like a fish in the sea. I am the fish, and he is my sea. If I were to stray from him for more that a second, I would die.

And yet, with all my fascination and wonder, I cannot tell him how I feel. I can only pretend that I love another. I know that she loves me, and she is a dear friend, but I would give anything just to spend my last days with Jack. I wish not to hurt Elizabeth, but what about what I want? What about my dreams?

I'm never noticed. Just pushed around like a scurvy dog. In the beginning, he talked to me; he befriended me, now he is just my Capitan, whom I have vowed a lifetime of service. I wish I could vow a lifetime of love as well.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Dear diary,

I see something I didn't see before. I see love where there used to be hate. I see understanding where there used to be confusion. No one has ever understood what I speak, no one but Will.

And now all chances of a relationship are ruined. He is betrothed to Elizabeth. If only I could have told him how I feel, maybe it would have been different. Maybe he would be mine. Now it's just another regret to put down in the book of should have's and would have been's. And another tail to include in the If only's.

They say that soul mates always find each other. I guess that part is true, but they left out the part that says it almost never a happy ending. I would give anything to be able to speak of my feelings to him. To let him know how I feel, but it is too late. If only, if only, then maybe my heart wouldn't break.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Dear Diary,

Today I found his journal. I know I shouldn't have read it, but I just wanted to know what he is thinking. He has seemed so distant lately. And being engaged and all, I just thought I should know. I wish I hadn't of read it. I told me nothing of what I wanted to know, and all of what I never wanted to hear. I am heart broken.

Not for me, but for him. He has feelings for someone else, whom I know feels the same. I wish he would have just told me how he felt. I would have been ok.

I love him, yes, but I love him enough to want that which only makes him happy. His happiness means the world to me.

Now to only formulate a plan that can save him from eternal loneliness. Um, I think I have just the thing.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

"Will, I seem to have found some interesting documents in the cupboard down in the galley. I'm not quite sure what it is. Maybe you should have a look at it?"

"Ok, Elizabeth, leave them there on the table, and I will have a look in a second."

"Well, I am going to go see what Jack is up to, come find me when you see what they are!"

"Ok, will do."

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

"Jack, I seem to have found some interesting documents in the cupboard down in the galley. I'm not quite sure what it is. Maybe you should have a look at it?"

"Yes, dearie, maybe I shall. In a minute of course. To stray from ones business can be as nasty as the kraken, and I don't want to mess with that ugly beast again. Set them on the table and I shall have a look-see in a jiffy."

"All right, well I am going to go see what will is up to, come find me when you're done. I am interested in what they have to say."

"Ah, I shall do as a woman says once again, just promise that I won't find an undeserving bruised cheek when I awake in the morning."

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Dear Diary,

I woke up this morning to warmth, to comfort, to memories of a glorious night. In all my dreams and all my hopes, I thought I would never find myself lying there with him in my arms. With the smell of sex still fresh in the air. I would never trade that moment for anything. He is my life, my passion, without him I would have no reason. I guess you can believe in fairy tales, because mine came true.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Everything is not always the way it seems 

_Love has a strange way of sliding through the cracks._

_Wishing will not be the road that leads to your dreams _

_You can follow the stars and never move from your spot_

_But walk with them, and you will never be in the same place twice._


End file.
